Before you begin, some words of wisdom from your local linguistics party
gang: Never forget your
liquor and leather jacket.
Jason Turner-Maier
Jason: Can you tell Fred that he hurts me, inside?
...
Jason: Wait. Actually, can you not?
Jason Turner-Maier
Jason: 42 is the new 69
After careful consideration, Sarah and I decided that 42 is more like half of 69.
Ilya Sherman, Fred Wulff
Fred: Fuck Java btw
Ilya: no thanks
Fred: Ah...but she's so alluring
Ilya: psh
Fred: I guess she does kind of get around a lot
Sarah Spikes
Sarah: I'm not as sleepy on this side.
After turning over to her other side
Ilya Sherman, Fred Wulff
Ilya: have you taken Social Dance I
Fred: I haven't
Ilya: You should!
Ilya: It's basically awesome
Fred: I'm holding out for something that's acidically awesome
Fred: :P
Sarah Spikes, Ilya Sherman
Sarah: Can you explain?
Ilya: No, it defies rational explanation.
Sarah: What?
Ilya: It defies rational explanation.
Sarah: I heard It defines my nose function.
Do you have a nose function?
Sarah Spikes, Ilya Sherman, Alison Herson
Sarah: Ilya, you're all wet
Ilya: I'm sowwy, it's waining
Ali: If you want, you can go to Aman's room and say my pants are wet, can I have some of yours?
Ilya: will that help?
Sarah: It worked for Ali
Sarah: She didn't want my pants
Ali: I wouldn't fit
Ali: >snickers<
Ali: I don't want to be in Sarah's pants
Ilya: But you still want to be in Aman's pants???
Alison Herson, Aman Kumar
Ali: I can't believe you missed this entire conversation.
Aman: My glasses are off! I can't hear!
Ilya Sherman, Ali Herson
Ilya: I'm not too excited about watching Lion King, but o.k.
Ali: Well, we can compromise.
Ilya: Like, we can half watch it, or something?
Ali: Like, you can sit in a corner while we watch it.
Sarah Spikes, Michelle Pruett
Sarah: i keep not getting enough sleep :(
Michelle: awww, poor sarah
Michelle: i would send you some, but alas, i too am lacking in sleep
Sarah: oh no
Sarah: someone has to get some sleep!
Michelle: bears!!
Michelle: they will hibernate all winter for us
Sarah: :)
Michelle: what sweethearts!
Sarah Spikes
Sarah: hehe, i just wandered into matt's room
Sarah: he's reading snow crash
Sarah: anyway, i noted that his lamp wasn't very "lightful"
Sarah: and so i decided it was "delightful"
Ilya Sherman, Karl Pichotta
Ilya: Did you turn [your homework] in?
Karl: I slid it under Tomohiro's office. I hope that suffices.
...
Karl: Office door.
Karl: Is what I meant.
Aman Kumar, Ali Herson
Aman: I have a point queued up in my stack
Ali: Do you want to pop your stack?
Jeffrey Middleton, Ilya Sherman
Jeffrey: But the easy way to get XE is XI^2/XC
Jeffrey: which puts it in the numerator for you
Ilya: No, it's to multiply XI by 2
Jeffrey: well my way is easier because it rationalizes denominator in the process
Jeffrey: obviously a very easy thing
A successful exchange during a game of Taboo:
CJ Thomas, Ilya Sherman, [Yuhao Ding]
CJ: This is not usually on a window.
Ilya: Doorknob!
Yuhao had led up to this by comparing windows and doors a bit earlier
Ilya Sherman, Aman Kumar
Ilya: smir.
Ilya: k
Aman: hah
Aman: concat them
Aman: you get smirk
Aman: if smirk is a pal
Aman: then we add *
Aman: and you get *smirk*
Sarah Spikes, Aman Kumar
Sarah: ilya's my first actual boyfriend
Aman: me too
Aman: er
Aman: i mean
Sarah: hehe
Aman: i'm not breaking up with him
Quoth Sarah: i told him that he couldn't have you
John Le
John: What would happen if I ate undercooked bread?
John: Would I get a yeast infection?
Aman Kumar
Aman: I get to driving practice him around
his dad
Ilya Sherman
Ilya: Why is this receipt so long?
Ilya: Honestly, I just bought a pack of batteries.
Ilya: With two batteries.
Ilya: It's about as long as an 8.5 x 11 sheet of paper.
As Sarah promptly pointed out, I did mean that it was
about 11 inches long
Ilya Sherman, Sarah Spikes
Ilya: brb
Ilya: (where the r is ish)
Sarah: beish back
Sarah: got it
Sarah Spikes, Ilya Sherman
Sarah: Do you want a grape?
Ilya: Wow, that's grape!
Sarah: Have some butter.
Ilya: Wow, that's even butter!
I was on a roll.
Sarah Spikes
A parsing test:
Sarah: mmhm,m
Sarah: *-,
Ilya Sherman, Aman Kumar (invisibly)
Ilya: damn grading takes a long time
Ilya: That's to be interpreted as "Damn, grading takes a long time"
Ilya: That is, "damn" is not modifying "grading"
Ilya: In case you were wondering
We're both in Introduction to Linguistics this quarter
Cody Patterson, Sarah Spikes
Cody: the binaries are what actually tells TeXnicCenter
what it's supposed to do with all the backslashes.
Cody: it's like...
Cody: you push F7
Cody: and TeXnicCenter gets on its imaginary phone
Cody: and it calls up MikTeX/bin and says hey man, how's it going
Cody: and bin says good
Sarah: hehe
Cody: and TC (that's what everybody calls TeXnicCenter) says hey man, what
does \equiv mean?
Cody: and bin says that's the one with the one squiggly line
Cody: and TC says no wait man, that's \sim
Cody: and bin says dude, look, I'm the binaries, okay?
Cody: and TC says isn't \equiv the one with three bars?
Cody: and bin says yeah man, I think that's right
Cody: and TC says hey, did you watch the Steelers game last night?
Cody: and bin says yeah, I think ESPN does a much better prime-time football
broadcast overall - much better chemistry in the booth
Aman Kumar
Aman: my roommate is orgasming over your latex
To be fair, this is at approx. pi in the morning.
Sarah Spikes, Ilya Sherman
Sarah: When she Jennifer Novak Kloke
changed her name, she also dropped the Sue.
Sarah: (her middle name)
Ilya: So she married a lawyer and took the Sue
out of her name?
Sarah Spikes, Ilya Sherman
Sarah: What did you say?
Ilya: The sun is very bright
Sarah: I heard, The cemetary, right?
Ilya: Right.
Sarah Spikes
Sarah: no won to the food part
Sarah: er... *now on
Sarah Spikes, Ilya Sherman
Sarah: i know
Ilya: I know you know.
Sarah: i know you know that i know
Sarah: don't even
Ilya: Oh, I didn't know that!
Sarah: oh
Sarah: heh
Sarah: (you can odd, though)
We're not quite at La Princesse de Clèves level
Sarah Spikes, Ilya Sherman
Sarah: ok, i'm going to read one chapter
Sarah: and then sleep.
Ilya: o.k.
Sarah: yes.
Sarah: it will happen
Ilya: sure.
Ilya: I believe you just as much as you do.
Sarah: oh no
Sarah: no one believes me
Ilya Sherman, Sarah Spikes
Ilya: You should eat more then.
Sarah: but i can't eat then
Sarah: i can only eat now
Ilya: Hehehe.
Ilya: You should eat more now.
Ilya: Tell me how now tastes.
Ilya: I've only ever eaten then.
Sarah: hehe
Sarah: i think i bit my lip
Ilya: No, don't eat your lip.
...
Sarah: ok, the search for some now to eat begins.
Ilya Sherman, Sarah Spikes, Jeffrey Middleton
Ilya: Fibs
Sarah: Is that an unusual word?
Ilya: No.
Jeffrey: You probably unconsciously made it because you were cheating.
Sarah: *yawn*
Jeffrey: That was so funny it made you yawn!
As heard during a game of speed scrabble
Andrew Franks
Andrew: So, what's with the wolfman thing?
That is, Why the beard?
Sarah Spikes
Sarah: it's weird, i had a dream recently that i checked your conversations
page and it was updated
ouch
Jeffrey Middleton, Alice MacQueen
Jeffrey: You suck!
Alice: Your face!
They're a couple.
Sarah Spikes
Sarah: My hair is wrinkled!
Sarah Spikes, Will Boney, Alex Wright
Sarah: This isn't as good as I thought it'd be. It's massive though.
Wilby: That's what she said.
Alex: What, This isn't as good as I thought it'd be
?
At Rivendell (in San Marcos)
Will Boney
Will: If I said everything that came into my mouth...
Way to put your mouth where your mind is, Will
Max Warshauer, Ilya Sherman
Max: Are you going to Enchanted Rock with us this weekend?
Ilya: Sure, I'd like to.
Max: How old are you?
Ilya: Umm... 19
Max: Oh, you're useless
(everyone laughs)
Max: Well, I mean you're not completely useless...
I'm not old enough to drive a van over
Ilya Sherman, Alex Artushin
Ilya: how's your book?
Alex: my main character is stuck in a phone booth
Alex: he's been stuck there for months
Alex: he's also terrified because he's been thrown out of his home
Alex: so imagine being stuck in a terrified state in a telephone booth for months
Alex: lol
Alex: I just can't get past this one simple part
Ilya: wow
Ilya: how's he eating?
Alex: I've wrote a lot of stuff that comes after it
Alex: lol
Alex: well, he isn't really stuck in there
Alex: I'm just stuck on that part
Ilya: ah
Ilya: smir
Ilya: lol...
Ilya: the joys of misunderstanding
Alex: well, I meant to make it seem the way it did seem
Alex: but then clear it up
Alex: but i forgot to..
Ilya: yes, but I'm greatly amused
Ilya: it was well plotted
Ilya Sherman, Sarah Spikes
Ilya: I can use bags for clothes, right?
Sarah: Well, you probably don't want to wear bags
Sarah: You can put clothes in bags though, yes
Alex Artushin, Ilya Sherman
Alex: because we're cheap and decided to make round pegs fit into square pegs
Ilya: heh
Ilya: that'd be really hard
Alex: *square holes
Noah Athens, Ilya Sherman & Sarah Spikes
Noah: No, I'm on my way to the shower
Ilya & Sarah: No you're not... you're sitting at your computer.
Noah: Yeah, but it's on the way. I'm allowed to stop along the way.
Ilya & Sarah: But look. The shower is that way [right].
Ilya & Sarah: You went the other way [left] to get to your computer.
Noah: No, it's on the way.
Noah: I can't go to the shower without checking my mail and downloading four CD's
Erik Feng, Sarah Spikes
Erik: seems like everyone's going to stanford but me
Sarah: aww
Sarah: where are you going, MIT?
Erik: yeah
Sarah: samson's going there, i think
Erik: yep he told me
Sarah: plus josh
Erik: 3 people
Erik: take the derivative
Erik: and it's 0
Sarah: i'm pretty sure the number going to stanford is also a constant
Erik: haha
Erik: but a BIGGER constant
Erik: so it'll be a bigger zero
Sarah: hahaha that's what i just said
Sarah: (out loud)
Igor Popov
Igor: Are we leaving?
Igor: Or should we stay for the bloopers?
After the play Phèdre
Chad Groft
Someone: Party in the bathroom!
Chad: Always.
Shortly after math 53H section
Michael Simpson, Tim Fleming
Michael: You don't have to be so emo, Tim.
Tim: I'll kill you.
Tim: And myself.
Noah Athens, Tim Fleming
Noah: I can read you like a book.
Tim: What do I say?
Noah: Not much. You're a pretty crappy book.
Noah Athens
Noah: Have you ever considered that your age is just a reflection of the number
of times you've gone around the sun?
Noah: I've gone around the sun 19 times.
Noah: I don't really remember the first three.
Andrea Fuller, Ilya Sherman
Andrea: Is it wrong that I'm just here for the food?
Ilya: Yes! It's like being in a relationship just for the sex.
At house meeting
Andrea Fuller, Ilya Sherman, Noah Athens
Andrea: I think I have mono.
Ilya: You can't have mono.
Ilya: Then I couldn't kiss you for a whole year.
Noah: The beard comes off and the mac-daddy comes out.
Shortly after I had shaved for the first time in a long while
Yuhao Ding
Yuhao: And don't forget that...
Yuhao: Shit! I forgot what I was going to say.
Andrea Fuller
Andrea: Bern Funk is a state of mind.
Andrea: Every morning when I wake up ... I try on my Bern Funk suit and play
with my lock of his hair.
Angela Cheng, Sarah Spikes
Angela: It'd be cool if the Supreme Court spoke in rhyme!
Sarah: What prompted that?
Angela: poetic justice
Noah Athens
Noah: Man, having a photogenic memory would be awesome.
Sarah Spikes
Sarah: someone just said i'm a banana!
Sarah: jessi said she was going to have nerds, an Kaitlin said
you are what you eat
Sarah: and michael alexander was having a banana laffy taffy
"Rejected," anyone?
Leon Simon, Edward Luong
Leon Simon: I was looking at this the class summary yesterday
and I thought, My God, we did a lot.
Edward: Understatement of the year
Jack Browning, Weixing Su
Jack: But really, are you serious?
Weixing: I'm serious! I'm always serious!
Ilya Sherman, Andrea Fuller
Ilya: smir.
Andrea: smir?
Ilya: SMiling In Reality
Andrea: ohhhhh
Ilya: It's more accurate than "lollllllllllllll"
Andrea: wow. I'm not down with the aol lingo.
Andrea: hahha.
Ilya: no, it's my own invention
Ilya: I just got very fed up with lol
Andrea: smir is kind of ...
Andrea: it sounds like a medieval dragon name
Ilya Sherman, Andrea Fuller
Ilya: I don't think I trust you alone with my koosh ball.
Andrea: Don't worry, you'll get more little koosh balls in a few
months.
Noah Athens
Noah: I look like Tom Petty, and he is an ugly man.
In regards to his temporary straight-haired emo look.
Kunal Khanna
Kunal: I'm a vogon.
Upon being told he's bureaucratic
Steven Bills, Kunal Khanna
Steven: I can see Kunal running down the street with an angry mob after him
carrying torches.
Kunal: As long as they've filled out the appropriate torch-lighting
forms, I have no problem with that.
Kunal: and also the chasing angrily after a person down the
street forms.
Robert Harrison
Prof. Harrison: It doesn't change much whether they're breasts or... bull
testicles, insofar as they are representations of fertility.
On ancient Greek fertility statues.
Adhaar Desai
Adhaar: Tim, are you fluent in iTunes?
Bern Funk
Bern: It's tired; I'm late.
Andrea Fuller
Says Andrea in a talking to a pet sort of a voice...
Andrea: You are getting a sexual harassment lawsuit.
Andrea: Yes you are.
Andrea: Mhmm
In case you're wondering, she was talking to the koosh ball.
Ilya Sherman
Ilya: FED leads to
FAT.
There's a pretty long story behind this, for people not familiar with
Stanford IHUM courses, so
here goes: At Stanford, freshmen are required to take an Introduction to the
Humanities
course each quarter; we choose one for fall quarter and one that
goes through winter and spring quarters. In each case, there is one philosophy
course option; in the fall, it's Freedom, Equality, and Difference
(FED), and in the winter
and spring quarters it's Fate of Reason (FAT).
Thus, a lot of people who took one tend to take the other, and the acronyms
illustrate this absolutely beautifully.
Sarah Spikes, Ilya Sherman
Sarah: ... Haskell ...
Ilya: Did you just say high school
with a heavy country accent?
Sarah: No, the town where I was born.
Ilya: How do you spell that?
Sarah: H-a-s-k-e-l-l
Ilya: So, it's like Hell, with an ask in it?
Ari Officer, Augustín Ramirez
Ari: I read Augustín like a book.
Ari: I skim him.
Sarah Spikes
Sarah: my mother is napping... in matt's closet
Sarah Spikes, Ilya Sherman
Sarah: hehehe, sally may is playing the piano
Ilya: is she any good?
Ilya: does she have CD's coming out later this year?
Sarah: hehe
Sarah: not quite
Sarah: it's not horrible
Sarah: plus, it's very spontaneous, it'd be hard to catch a recording
Ilya: hehe
Ilya: yeah
Ilya: it's the price you pay for quality
Sarah: if you says so
Sarah: there she goes again
Sarah: that one was a bit more painful
Sarah: now, as matt said, she's trying to sing
Sarah: meowily
Ilya: hehehe
Fyi, Sally May
be a cat.
Andrew Franks
Adapted from Andrew's Xanga entry of Monday, December 5, 2005.
Copyright issues are being researched.
Setting:
just starting lab. about 15 minutes in. no chemicals involved yet. barely set up distillation apparatus. the professor is making his usual rounds checking on the students.
Prof (to Andrew): So, what's new? everything going ok?
Andrew (unable to think of anything relevant to say): I just saved 15% on my car insurance by switching to Geico.
Surrounding lab students start laughing. professor just stares, confused
Prof: That's great, but anything with the lab?
Andrew (quickly backtracking): uh.... yeah. everything's great....
Prof: Ok. (moves on to next student)
Ilya Sherman, Sarah Spikes
Ilya: the brevity is inspring, non?
Sarah: no, it's in fall
Sarah Spikes
Sarah: First, I'm going to steal the bathroom.
To be honest, context wouldn't help you too much on this one.
To be fair, it would help, at least a little.
Andrea Fuller, Nick
Andrea: Vodka has the flavor of taking a lit match and putting it in your throat
Nick: I'm sorry, I haven't tried fried throat before; what does it taste like?
Andrea Fuller
Andrea: If the koosh was my boss, I would so be getting a raise right now.
Apparently, the koosh was getting a little too personal with her.
Fred Wulff, Ilya Sherman
Fred: I think we're going to make with the closing of this door.
Ilya: If you find any chocolate over there, can you get it for me?
...
Fred: Here's a Stanford Daily... it's almost
like chocolate.
Fred: There was also a phonebook, but I figured you were watching your figure.
On the subject of biking to Alaska from Stanford (California)
Noah Athens
Noah: Despite the fact that it's kinda more Northern, it's not entirely like
going uphill.
Sarah Spikes
Sarah: I don't know why I asked, but, you know.
Why I know is beyond me, but I'm sure she knows.
Ilya Sherman, Elaine Chang
Ilya: darned English and drunken spellings becoming standard
Ilya: heh
Elaine: who is drunken?
Ilya: Double letters are.
Ilya: well, the people seeing double letters are.
Elaine: I was about to say "You don't seem the drunken type"
Elaine: despite being from the land of vodka
Ilya: heh
Ilya: yeah
Ilya: I'm a failure, basically.
Elaine: no, you have tastebuds
Sarah Spikes, Matthew Spikes
Sarah: i'm trying to figure out what tangent plane means
...
Sarah: whoa, my roommate is leaving for the weekend again
Sarah: this is the third time
Sarah: one was last weekend
Sarah: crazy
Sarah: she's not going home this time, but still has to fly
Sarah: ok, so, tangent plane
Matt: that was a tangent about a plane
Sarah Spikes
Sarah: See, I was the only one taking the test, and so I was locked in a filing
cabinet.
Sarah: Well, not a filing cabinet, a room full of filing cabinets.
Sarah: It was called The Vault.
Ilya Sherman, Sarah Spikes
Ilya: Am not.
Sarah: Am too.
Ilya: Haha! I tricked you!
Sarah: Well, I almost said that on purpose.
Ilya: So, you were going to say it on purpose but then changed your mind and
said it by accident?
Sarah: Exactly.
Sarah Spikes, Ilya Sherman
Sarah: i should be labeling the types of things, shouldn't i?
Sarah: arr
Ilya: ay
If you don't get it, think computer science. If you still don't get it,
don't worry about it.
Sarah Spikes
Sarah Spikes: mom sent me birthdays
Sarah Spikes: now i have lots
Sometimes you get what you ask for.
Myra, Ilya Sherman
Myra: I have CRS
Ilya:
Myra: Can't remember stuff.
Sarah Spikes, Matthew Spikes
Sarah: i need to ask mom for birthdays
Sarah: because she has a lot of them
Matt: heh, mom has a lot of birthdays
Note that Sarah wants more birthdays for herself.
Andrea Fuller, Bern Funk
Andrea: Were you naked at any point?
Bern: No.
Andrea: Thank you.
Bern: You're welcome.
Bern: I was this close, and then your face popped into my mind.
Ilya Sherman
Ilya: If I write it, Im afraid I'll write it in the style of Jocke.
John Locke!
Sarah Spikes, Ilya Sherman
Sarah: I don't know.
Ilya: No?
Sarah: I don't know.
Ilya: No?
Ilya: I hear no.
Sarah: But there's I don't
before it.
Ilya: So yes?
Sarah Spikes
Sarah: We used to say that things were dying to death...
It was a bit of overkill.
Landon Jennings, Sarah Spikes
Landon: are you awake?
Sarah: yes
Sarah: you?
No answer...
Myra
Myra: What's your major?
Student: EE
Myra: Really? Cool. So do you want to be a high-school
PE teacher?
Student: No, no, EE stands for electrical
engineering.
Myra: Oh...
Ilya Sherman
Ilya: Wait! Where's the Apple Store?!?
(standing two feet from the door)
Ilya Sherman
Ilya: Hey, um, where's the nearest ATM
card?
ATM machine anyone?
from godchecker.com
On the subject of Greek Mythology; specifically, of Hymenaeus [a.k.a. Hymenaios, or Hymen], the God of Weddings and Getting Married).
godchecker.com: Pronounciation: Coming soon
Talk about (not) picking your words carefully.
Robert Nix, Sarah Spikes
Robert: For those of us who don't know the Christian bases:
Robert: 1st - Holding Hands
Robert: 2nd - Kissing
Robert: 3rd - Secular First Base
Robert: Home - Just about everything else.
Sarah: That's a pretty broad home.
Ilya Sherman, Sarah Spikes
Ilya: Wow!
Sarah: Wow?
Ilya: The bikes are gone!
Sarah: Yeah, they're all at class.
Ilya: The bikes?
Sarah: Well, they're outside of class
Sarah: Waiting for their people to come back
Sarah: And rescue them.
Professor Yakov Eliashberg
Professor Eliashberg: Don't just turn in nonsense for homework.
Professor Eliashberg: This isn't an English class...
Student: Can I satisfy my foreign language requirement with this class?
Math 51H: Honors (theory-based) Linear Algebra
Ilya Sherman, Sarah Spikes
Ilya: I seem to be growing a purse out of my chest...
Sarah: That's a funny place to be growing a purse.
It seems there is a lesson that I still need to learn about how to properly
wear a purse.
Sarah Spikes, Ilya Sherman
Sarah: well, i don't often have people tell me they like my clothed
Sarah: s
Ilya: hehe
Ilya: I was wondering which was the typo ;-)
Sarah Spikes, Ilya Sherman
Sarah: heh, matt just laughed at me for saying one of the people at SSEA
Ilya: yeah..
Ilya: I can see why he would ;-)
Sarah: ssea is a very make-funnable name
Ilya: mhmm
Sarah: i was always confused when they talked about C, the
programming language
Ilya: why?
Sarah: C sounds like ssea.
Sarah: which is pronounced like sea
Ilya: mmk
Ilya: I prounce it s-sea
Sarah: you prounce it
Sarah: that's a cool sounding word.
Ilya: it is.
Ilya: I would like to pretend that it was intentional, if at all possible.
Ilya: thanks.
Sarah: hehe, ok.
Sarah: i'll let you pretend.
Ilya: alright!
Sarah Spikes
Sarah: my roommate just said i hate wearing clothes
Sarah Spikes
Sarah: i just sat on scissors
Sarah: very unharmfully
Eileen Wallace
Eileen: i've let myself get lazy. heh that's a joke. i've been lazy since i was
five.
too true, for me at least.
Ilya Sherman, Sarah Spikes
Ilya: How's the thingy going?
Sarah: alright... i mean, it hasn't actually started
Sarah: i've met some people
Ilya: how many people are there?
Ilya: are they cool?
Ilya: do any of them have an extra head?
Ilya: or a spaceship?
Sarah: nope, nor spaceships
Sarah: 46
Ilya: are four going to leave?
Sarah: to make 42?
Ilya: clearly.
Sarah: you're obsessed.
Sarah: have you even read all the books yet?
Ilya: no
Sarah: faker
Ilya: Well, I'm not really obsessed.
Ilya: I just had a bunch of cake
Sarah: ah
Ilya: o.k., a bit of cake
Ilya: but I'm calling it a bunch
Sarah: any particular reason?
Ilya: it makes for a better excuse
Sarah Spikes, Ilya Sherman
Sarah: oops, matt overheated his computer
Ilya: how?
Sarah: just overworked it
Sarah: playing computer games
Ilya: What sort?
Sarah: mm
Sarah: i really don't know
Sarah: ha, he has an ice pack under it now.
Matthew Spikes, Jeffrey Middleton, Jacob Shapiro, Ilya Sherman
Matt: Do you have a chocolate cake?
Jacob: No.
Matt: Are you sure?
Jacob: Yes, I'm reasonably sure I don't have a chocolate cake in my pocket.
checks pocket I have this pen.
Ilya: Can I try eating that and see if it's chocolate cake?
Jeffrey: Do you have a grilled portobello mushroom?
Jacob: No. No.
Matt: Do you have a chocolate cake in your pants?
Jacob: Not as far as I'm aware
...
Jeffrey: I thought they were all reasonable questions.
Matt: Right, because people always ask me if I have a grilled portobello mushroom.
Ilya: Well, no, but when I do, I expect to be asked about it.
Ken Baker, Knot Theory class
Ken: So, why 2 and 4 and 6 and 8?
Class: They're divisible by 2.
Ken: Oh, okay. Are they the only numbers divisible by two?
Class: resoundingly Yes!
Stephanie Chan, Ken Baker
Stephanie: I lied. I lied.
Stephanie: I think I lied.
Ken: About what?
Stephanie: I don't know. I like lying.
A glimpse into the Math Camp personality.
Dan Shapiro
Dan: tenteen
When I turn twenty, I definitely intend
to still be tenteen.
Allegra Hobbs, (Ryan Netwon, David Price, Jack, Kenny)
Allegra: When's Jack going to finish with his mom?
everyone laughs
Allegra: Oh, grow up, guys.
Alex Wright, Joshua Lim
Alex: We went to Mamacitas with Max today. It was f***ing good.
Josh: You went to a masseuse today?!?
Jeffrey Middleton, Sarah Spikes
Jeffrey: Is your Ramen in an obvious place?
...
Jeffrey: Is your pot obvious too?
Sarah: It's in a plastic — paper bag
cooking pot?
Joshua Lim, Ilya Sherman, Louisa
Josh: We're looking for Q's.
Ilya: Cubes?
Josh: Q's. The letter Q, from Scrabble. We're missing one.
Louisa: There's a Q a foot away from where Josh is standing
Josh: Wow, Louisa! You have, like, a Q-detector.
Ilya: Can she see through things?
Sarah Spikes
Sarah holding Ramen on top of (in order from top to bottom)
a big spoon, a fork, and a little spoon:
Why do I have three eating utensils?
Sarah Spikes, Ilya Sherman, Matthew Spikes
Sarah: We should watch Spiderman 2 tomorrow.
Ilya: Tomorrow? Tomorrow's Monday.
Sarah: Yeah....
Ilya: My mommy doesn't let me stay up late on Mondays.
Matthew: Your mother doesn't work here!
Sarah Spikes
Sarah: Which way do g's go?
She writes backward far too often.
Alex Wright, Kris Kazlowski, Joshua Lim, Ilya Sherman
[talking about programming]
Alex: You should just write I know
C++.
Kris: But it's multiple choice... I could just bubble the C and then in the D
and E bubbles write '++.'
Alex: Or you just bubble D, since 'D' is 'C'++.
Ilya: Not if C is a variable.
Josh: What if it's the variabe that contains the character 'C?' What then?
Ilya: Yeah, because that's how I name my variables. And if it's a range, I name
it something like onetoten.
Josh: Exactly.
I suppose C is capitalized in C++.
Joshua Lim, Alex Wright
[on observing that everyone in the room except Alex was wearing glasses]
Josh: Do you have perfect eyesight, Alex?
Alex: Well, that depends on what you mean by perfect.
Josh: ...
Alex: I have 20/15 vision.
Josh: Whoa! Can you see through things?
Sarah Spikes
Sarah: I just put a cucumber in my pudding...
Terry McCabe
Terry: Who died and left you in charge?
Terry: Oh, I'm sorry. That was a bad image. Who resigned —
who was impeached and left you in charge?
Jeff Naney, Will Boney
Jeff: It's not a casino — it's an English class.
Will: See, I played Bridge in English class.
Jeff: I played blackjack in English class!
Patrick Thill
Patrick: If we had thinner paper, I would write clearer proofs.
Because they would be more transparent, or see-through.
Sarah Chandler, Matthew Spikes
Sarah: I heart pop-tarts.
Sarah: Sorry, I really am paying attention.
Matt: Paying attention to what?
Sarah: My pop tart.... No, I mean the proof!
Ilya Sherman, deer from camping trip (trying to steal our food)
As profoundly recorded by
Rachel Wilkins,
Deer: blink. blink.
Ilya: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
Hey, Larissa asked me to.
Caroline Sellars
Caroline: All white people glow in the dark, didn't you know that?
Caroline: That's why we don't need flashlights.
Ximena Gomez, Ilya Sherman
Ximena: you goofball
Ilya: Sounds tasty
Ilya: like... meatball
Ilya: with goof
Ximena: eww
Ximena: goof tastes bad
Ilya: Does it?
Ilya: So I'm untasty?
Ximena: yeah
Ximena: fo sho
Ilya: Well, that's disappointing.
Ilya: Why would I want to be a goofball then?
Ximena: nutrional value
Ilya: What's the point of being something if people won't even eat you for it?
Ilya: Or have to spice you up to make you tolerable.
Ximena: ask tofu
Ms. Linsley-Kennedy, Mr. Schaaf, (Ilya Sherman)
Ms. Linsley-Kennedy: Go have a beer.
Ms. Linsley-Kennedy: Well, no don't.
Mr. Schaaf: When you're older than 21 and...
Ms. Linsley-Kennedy: Yeah, when you're older than 21, think back on this moment,
and have a beer.
Mr. Schaaf: But make sure it's a good one
Mr. Schaaf: You wouldn't want to waste it on cheap beer.
On having finished 9 hours worth of testing.
Michelle Xia
Michelle: My pen just stopped working. It's like a miracle. It didn't
even say anything, like a warning. It just stopped.
Yeah, my pens don't warn me about these things either.
Ilya Sherman, Sarah Spikes
Ilya: how do you have a non-dance prom?
Sarah: well, it was a las vegas theme
Sarah: they had gambling
Sarah: the senior guy and girl with the most chips at the end were prom king and queen
Be happy that this is not your prom.
Ilya Sherman, Sarah Spikes
Ilya: back.
Sarah: front
Ilya: (left) side.
Sarah: right.
Sarah: (any way you want to interpret it)
Ilya: So I can interpret it as up?
Sarah: if you really really want to
Sarah: or you're laying on your left side
Ximena Gomez, Ilya Sherman
Ximena: i need a way to end this dumb paragraph
Ximena: i dont know how to round it off
Ilya: add 0.5 and then cast it as an integer...
David Heaton
David: I love you man. You know, in that tectonic sort of way.
Platonic, anyone?
Amy Liang
Amy: You're weird for discriminating against apple-shaped people!
(Those whose waists are larger than their hips.)
Tommy Greenhill
Tommy: Stop it, I mean it.//Anybody got a peanut?
a quote from
The Princess Bride
Michelle: What's a peanut?
You'll have to forgive Michelle—she's fasting.
Michael Bell
Michael: There are three boards... thus, there is a 1/3 chance that Mr. Mazzoni
will teach from that back board.
I had rotated his chair to face the back of the classroom.
Ilya Sherman, Michael Bell, Grace Eckhoff, (Jeffrey Chen),
(Michelle Xia)
Ilya: I can jump higher than a house.
Michael: I guess you'd win that bet, most of the time.
(Everyone): Some houses jump...
Ilya: You mean like in an earthquake?
Grace: Well, some animals have shells... they're like houses.
Grace: We just need to find an animal with a shell that can jump.
Grace and Ilya: Let's see... crab's don't jump... umm, turtles don't jump...
snails don't jump...
Michelle: How about mollusks?
Houses don't jump (umm, usually...).
Jeffrey Chen, Ilya Sherman, Grace Eckhoff
We couldn't pronounce his Le Châtelier's name...
Jeffrey: Let's just call him "the dude"!
Ilya: The dude. The french dude.
Grace: Le dude!
Ilya Sherman, Rachel Shen
Ilya: ! how do you keep your profiles so short?
Ilya: I can't do it.
Ilya: *sighs*
Rachel: hahaha
Rachel: always changing tooo
Ilya: Yeah, I envy your profile skills.
Ilya: I'm too OCD to be able to do that.
Rachel: i can't keep them the same
Rachel: for a while, yours was EXACTLY the same except the song
Rachel: that drove me a little crazy
Rachel: like a month
Rachel: with nothing changing
Ilya: Yeah, it's usually the same.
Ilya: The song changes automatically
Rachel: NO WAY
Profile envy
Ilya Sherman, Sarah Spikes
Ilya: Don't forget: CodyBowl is due tomorrow.
Sarah: oh
Sarah: right.
Sarah: i was going to do that tonight.
Sarah: ehhh, yeah, i'll do it tomorrow
Ilya: k
Ilya: Don't forget.
Sarah: you mentioned that bit.
Ilya: Yes.
Ilya: I'm re-iterating.
Ilya: I don't think there should be a hyphen there.
Sarah: no, probably not.
...
Sarah: i should have done laundry today.
Sarah: i better do it tomorrow
Ilya: CodyBowl != laundry
Ilya: focus!
Ilya Sherman
Ilya: See, I should quote that
Ilya: But I don't feel like it.
Sarah Spikes
Sarah: if i were actually speaking, everything would be rather slurred and you
wouldn't be able to understand me anyway
Sarah: as it is i just type random things
Sarah: not really sure whether they've anything to do with the subject at hand,
if there happens to be one.
Sarah: a subject, not a hand.
Sarah: although, i supposed there needs to be a hand
Sarah: unless you type with your nose
Sarah: i used to do that.
Sarah Spikes
Sarah: i'm saddened by your lack of new conversations.
Sarah: and my mind is becoming jumpy.
Matthew Spikes
Matt: so gray is a color and grey is a colour
Alberto Ferrando
Albert: i dunno... lol i always like to argue
Oh so true.
Sarah Spikes
Sarah: i think these pillows were advertised as cuddly stress releivers
Sarah Spikes
Sarah: trying to make me sound crazy
Sarah: i see how you are.
Sarah: oh well
Sarah: i don't need any help there
Ilya: Not crazy.
Sarah: random then
Ilya: Just creative.
Sarah: ooh, creative.
Ilya: Hehe.
Ilya: What's wrong with random?
Sarah: nothing. i don't mind being any of those.
Sarah: i like creative best, though.
Sarah Spikes
Sarah: heh. i know guys that like cats, too.
A response to my profile, I think.
Angela (Ike) [Mao?]
Ike: Olin is in Needham, Massachusetts.
Ike: Um... I think I missed a double letter in there.
Ike: Massachussetts?
Ike: Mmaassaacchhuusseettss???
Ilya Sherman
Ilya: Yes, it would, but then, I'm odd, oftentimes.
Ilya: Hmm
Ilya: The comma balance is uneven.
Ilya Sherman
Ilya: Wouldn't it be nice if life were a fairytale, and when we woke up in the
morning, everything would be all better?
It's not meant to be funny.
Ilya Sherman, Larissa Charnsangavej
Ilya: Why the ghost(ing)?
Larissa: i like haunting ppl
Ghosting — appearing off-line on
AIM, while still being on-line
Naeem Husain
Naeem: I knew you weren't asleep, because I could hear you breathing.
Ilya Sherman, Ellen Wong
Ilya: How late can we send it?
Ellen: As late as possible.
So... never?
Henry Tsai
Henry: clark mentioned you at the meeting today
Henry: about the eco challenge team
Henry: he's liek like some smart people who were supposed to be taking
eco both semesters are trying out to too.. like that long haired guy from
ms davis's class
Henry: then we verified that you were somewhat intelligent
Ilya Sherman, Sarah Spikes
Ilya: Why're you up?
Sarah: good question
Sarah: my body's not getting the idea of having to get up at 7
Sarah: speaking of which, i should tell my alarm clock
Sarah: might want to set it, too, just in case
Andrew Franks
Andrew: I was surprised that they didn't suspect anything, given that a Jew and a
nobody came to their Christian Youth Group.
Apparently, I'm a religious nobody. Or am I just a nobody?
Ilya Sherman, Sarah Spikes
Ilya: so, food?
Sarah: you'll never guess
Ilya: hehe
Ilya: I just started two conversations.
Sarah: amazing
Ilya: To you, I said so, food?
Ilya: To Ellen, Guess what.
Ilya: Your response was you'll never guess
Ilya: thus, hehe
Sarah Spikes, Ilya Sherman
Sarah: max thinks my shoelaces taste good
Sarah: i wonder if he's right
Ilya: smir
Ilya: That's confusing, cats with human names.
Sarah Spikes
Sarah: there's a deranged fly on the desk.
Sarah: it keeps coming back
Sarah: it's on it's back
Sarah: and it can't get up
Sarah: i keep pushing it over and it'll fly away
Sarah: but 10 minutes later i look and it's there again
Ilya Sherman
Ilya: hmphhmphhmphhmphhmph
Ilya: Type that 5 times fast.
Ilya Sherman, Sarah Spikes
Ilya: I'll break English, one of these days, I'll do it.
Sarah: i think you already have.
Ilya Sherman
Ilya: > is an uppercase .
Look, right there. Yes, I do mean at your keyboard.
Deborah Baker
Deborah: Got a piece of pen?
A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing and you say your mother
Sarah Spikes, Ilya Sherman
Sarah: my mind is being bouncy tonight
Sarah: going from one thing to another rather quickly
Sarah: i can't keep up
...
Ilya: well, I'm off... or is it on?
Ilya: to bed.
Ilya: yeah
Ilya: whichever.
Sarah: heh
Sarah: good plan
Ilya: good night.
Sarah: wish i wasn't supposed to be doing something
Ilya: What are you assumed to be doing?
Sarah: stanford app
Ilya: ah
Ilya: but that's not due 'till Thursday, 2:00 A.M.
Ilya: :-)
Ilya: You've a full 26 hours.
Ilya: use them :-)
Sarah: wow that took a while to register
Ilya: hehe, g*night.
Sarah: yeah. that.
Sarah: sorry, i'm not in a very good mood.
Ilya: Why not?
Ilya: You just told me you were bouncy.
Ilya: well, so it wasn't just.
Ilya: but it was.
Sarah: doesn't mean i'm in a good mood
Sarah: and that was a while ago
Ilya: well you should be, then.
Sarah: it wore off
Ilya: and now.
Ilya: then and now.
Ilya: bouncy.
Sarah: why?
Ilya: =good.
Ilya: because good = :-)
Ilya: and :-) = :-):-)
Ilya: so, by substitution...
Ilya: (:-) > 1)
Ilya: ...wow.
Ilya: I think I'm just a bit beyond bouncy.
Sarah: perhaps
Sarah: made me laugh, though
Samson Zhou, Ilya Sherman
Samson: ILYA SHERMANDOM...
Ilya: did you just call me shermandom?
Samson: yes
Samson: i like that name
Samson: shermandom
Samson: i'm sorry if it bothers you
Ilya: No, it doesn't bother me.
Ilya: Amuses, rather.
Be forewarned: sometimes different people have the same name. [If you really want to know who someone is, read the source.]
Ilya: what's up?
April: trying to get sleepy
Ilya: so you signed on so your friends could bore you to sleep?
Ilya: i understand
April: lol
April: thats not how it goes
Ilya: oh. Do tell.
April: i figured if im gunna waste time getting sleepy
April: i may as well do it online
Ilya: so your friends are a waste of time now?
Ilya: the thing about dreams is that they always makes sense
Ellen: sigh
Ellen: i'm tired of making ppl
Rachel: riiiight
Ilya: Don't roll your i's at me.
Deborah: im back and im hungary
interesting how people just go and turn into countries, isn't it?
Ilya: they always say fear is the key to a solid friendship...
Bethany: i never said you scared me i only said you freak me out
Ilya: orange
Ilya: (hello)
Ike: Should I say "purple" or "grape"?
Ilya: purple
Ilya: it's a play on yellow sounding like hello
Ilya: so purple
Ike: Oh. Okay. Can never tell if one means the fruit or the grape.
Ilya: or the color even
Ilya: bummer
Bethany: that's my word
Ilya: no, it's not
Bethany: well now it is
Ilya: now meaning after I used it?
Ilya: even then, it would not be yours
Ilya: but I sincerely hope it's not what you meant
Bethany: ok fine keep it..i don't like it anyways
Bethany: i don't like the dark
Bethany: it makes me think
Ilya: a good reason not to like things
Bethany: do you have a problem with me having a problem with that?
Ilya: Nope :-)
Bethany: I could strangle you
Bethany: You should be punished
Bethany: for being you
Ilya: by the way, are contractions fine with you?
Ilya: do you not have a problem with contractions?
Rachel: why are you pregnant???
there's a lesson to be learned from that: choose your words carefully
Ilya: I thought you decided to stop chasing skirts.
Alex: it.. it.. wasnt really a skirt...
Alex: it was more of a pair of really tight pants...
Ilya: hehe
Ilya: you make loud noises too much
Rachel: yeah...
Rachel: shush!
Rachel: i mean..
Rachel: hush!
Rachel: i mean..
Ilya: :-)
Rachel: leave me alone!!
Rachel: :-)
Rachel: sigh.
Rachel: its an addiction
Alex: it has its good parts
Alex: for a movie that i thought would be udder crap
Ilya: is that crap that comes from a cow?
Bethany: um.. you've been taking drugs again haven't you?
Ilya: n-n-no.
Ilya: h-h-haven't g-got an-n-ny. anymore...
a little while later
Alex: has she asked you if your high yet?
Ilya: Yeah. Why?
Alex: hehe
Alex: O:-) that's an angel smiley face
I wonder what that was all about...
Bethany: I got him to put on my old dress and to take off the rest of his
clothes, then I took them and I got a picture of him in his boxers.
I don't want to know...
Alex: I've got a great way of getting around the stupid asking for a girl's
number routine
Alex: I stole a whole bunch of matches from the hotel I stayed at night before
yesterday
Alex: and I'm gonna write my name and number on them and just drop them in
strategic locations
Alex: I just have to find an inconspicous and cool way of droping them
It turns out that he actually meant match boxes, which
makes a little bit more sense
Rachel: YOU'RE WONDERFUL
Rachel: howd you do that?
Ilya: magic
Ilya: and google
Ilya: :-)
Rachel: yay!!!
Ilya: *smiles*
Rachel: yeah you best smile
Ilya: you're so confrontational
Rachel: lol
Ilya: heh, I would say "but in a good way," but I think you might try to argue
Rachel: lol!!!
Ilya: wow.
Ilya: that's as many punctuation marks as letters.
Ilya: inventive.
Ilya: well, no, not really inventive
Ilya: but...
Rachel: hahahaha
Ilya: interesting
Rachel: and thats as many h's as a's
Ilya: yeah
Ilya: a rarity for you ;-)
Rachel: true true
Rachel: i had to go back and delete the h on the end
Rachel: honestly
Ilya: I'm singing to my cat and she's looking at me like she thinks I'm crazy
Sarah: haha
Sarah: you probably are
Ilya: gar!
Ilya: blink, window, blink
Ilya: (!)
Sarah: hehe
Sarah: yell at it!
Sarah: that will definitely work
Ilya: BLINK, WINDOW, BLINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sarah: there you go
Ilya: allright, say something now
Sarah: something now
Ilya: aha!
Ilya: it blinked
a bit later...
Sarah: your window didn't blink
Sarah: that's odd
Ilya: heh.
Ilya: windows are so whimsical
Ilya: but then one might simply be a naive little naive person
Ilya: and redundant too
Sarah: hehe
Sarah: are there any naive big naive people?
Sarah: it seems like naive people are always little
Ilya: back
Samson: k
Samson: i didn't have somebody to distract me from my homework
Samson: so it's good you're back
Samson: i almost finished chemistry!
Samson: shame on you
Ilya: my cat uses me
Katie: All cats yse eveyrone.
Katie: That's wh you either love them or hate them.
Katie: I love them for being so fiendish.
My cat and I have a rapport; I do what she wants, or she scratches the heck
out of me and my furniture
Ilya: I see you...
Ilya: Well, not technically
Ilya: but...
Katie: Ilya!
Katie: Where???
Katie: I don't see me.
Ilya: hmm
Ilya: are you a vampire?
Katie: Not in this life, maybe another. Why?
Ilya: then get a mirror
Katie: Oh.
Katie: HEY.
Katie: You.
Katie: Tricky.
Katie: You cunning little man.
Katie: Devious.
Ilya: I watch too much T.V., that's why.
[Auto-response from] Larissa: guess what im doing
Ilya: You're reading things that people guess you're doing and laughing.
Larissa: correct!
Bethany: you've a brain, do you?
Ilya: I've a pinky.
Ilya: Close enough?
Austin: you already know what you don't know
Austin: and you knwo that you knwo what you know
Austin: and i know that you know that you know what you know
Austin: which is somethign we dont have to say!
...
Austin: it's almost like you don't know what i'm talking about
Ilya: Not particularly
Austin: which particle are you not rly with?
Ilya: hehe
Ilya: the hehe particle.
Austin: that's my favorite one
Austin: cept it never shuts up
Nishana: i couldnt find it for like half an hour and i was freaking out
Ilya: Where was it?
Nishana: uuuummm
Nishana: somewhere
Nishana: that i also forgot
Nishana: you have to help me like regular math
Ilya: for what?
Ilya: oh
Ilya: heh, I misread that sentence at first
Ilya: I thought it said something like "you'll have to help me, like regular math"
Ilya: and I was rather confused
Nishana: yeah
Ilya: I wonder why I got glasses... they obviously don't do anything
Sarah: qa
Sarah: my kitten typed that
Sarah: he's talented
Ilya: Hola.
Larissa: yello
Ilya: green.
Ilya: *gree
Deborah: we need to see andrew
Deborah: so we play monopoly
Ilya: how 'bout a 13 dollar bill?
Ilya: Baker's dozen
Austin: lol
Austin: a deborah dozen?
Ilya: What are you gonna do about it?
Sarah: this crazy new thing
Sarah: i think they call it sleep
Ilya: no way!
Ilya: not that
Ilya: anything but that
Sarah: oh?
Ilya: I hear.. gangsters do it
Sarah: heh
Ilya: and even they don't like to
Ilya: it's too dangerous.
Sometimes I wonder about me. Other times my head already hurts
Ilya: heheh
Ilya: e
Ilya: ohno!
Samson: what?
Samson: what?
Samson: >_<
Ilya: My friend always ends her laughs with h's
Samson: lol
Samson: you're turning into her!
Samson: except...not
Rachel, you're rubbing off on me!
Andrew: risk isn't complicated. its fun!
Andrew: and i kick butt in it.
Andrew: 8-)
Ilya: heh
Ilya: World domination, one friend at a time?
Andrew: mwahahahahaha.
Katie: it's late.
Ilya: not too very late
Katie: Heheheh.
Katie: Heh.
Katie: Yeeeaaahh . . . it's late.
Ilya: What are you gonna do about it?
Ilya: hmm?
Ilya: *prods* hmm?
Katie: Everything
Katie: *does everything*
Ilya: *spins in circles*
Ilya: ('cuz that's cooler)
Katie: *true*
Deborah: he gave me the keyboard and i went at it
Explaining how she helped Bradley overcome slow typing.
Ilya: Bradley told you, right?
Austin: he was about to
Austin: but go on
Austin: i think it involves him
Austin: and a girl
Ilya: Your lab's due tomorrow
Ah, the sorrow of disappointment
Ilya: they don't look very simillar...
Ilya: I think I misspeeled that
Ilya: yummy?
Deborah: yeah but homework isnt
Ilya: You're not supposed to eat it, Deborah.
Deborah: Sighs
Deborah: i figured out that
Deborah: the hard way
Kirill: yeah, ilya told me
Ilya: ...
Ilya: I'm ilya
Kirill: oh...
Deborah's comment:
Deborah: haha
Deborah: that ducks
man, the world just wouldn't be the same without typos
in response to an away message
Alex: depression isnt bad for you, if you don't overindulge
Alex: you arnt overindulging are you?
Bethany: ... i mean it takes too much energy to be depressed without a valid reason
Ilya: no it doesn't
Ilya: depression is a low energy activity
Samson: this is so stuipd
Samson: *stypiu
Samson: *sjpuid
Samson: *stypiud
Samson: *stupid
Samson: omg
Samson: wtf
Samson: 5 times to spell it correctly!
Bethany: howw as your day?
Ilya: long
Ilya: and hungry
Ilya: despite the shortness
Ilya: and bitter for a bit
Ilya: then pacified
Ilya: but confused
Ilya: then boistrous
Ilya: then dejected
Ilya: then funny
Ilya: then in a trance
Bethany: sounds liek it was a busy day...and why was it all moody?
Ilya: *shrugs*
Ilya: I'm a moody person
April 29, 2004, in case you're wondering
Bethany: you need to fall in love with someone dude
Completely out of the blue
Ilya: Ho wman yo fthe m?
Ilya: wow. that looks almost vulgar.
Bethany: how much do you weigh?
Ilya: 578 Newtons
Ilya: approximately
Samson: hey ilya, just to annoy you
Samson: you said you have no ideas
Samson: :-þ
Ilya: what's your point?
Samson: hehe
Samson: nothing
Samson: just to annoy you
Samson: what's a menopause?
Ellen: i gave up on spanish
Ilya: hehe
Ilya: You give up on a lot of languages
Ilya: I, on the other hand, am about to give up on my nose.
Ilya: wasta a' time
Ilya: k, I'm not sure why I have an appostrophe after the "a"
Ilya: It's not like there's an "a" in "of"
...
Ilya: *waste
Ilya: wow... that took me forever to notice
Bethany: how are you today?
Ilya: terse.
Interestingly, she didn't ask me what I meant.
Cody: without further ado, the final score:
Alex: i'm sensing some ado
Syed: what's ado
Ilya: I felt special when you asked me to write
Ilya: and then I look at your profile
Ilya: and I'm like... wow, she doesn't care about me. She just wants comforting
words in English
Ilya: so you know what?
Ilya: I'll write in Spanish.
Ilya: Ha!
Rachel: funny
Rachel: see?
Ilya: :-)
Rachel: its that kind of humor ill miss in mexico
Rachel: NOOOOOOOOOOOO
Rachel: YOU PUNK
Ilya: hehehe
Ilya: I knew it
Rachel: that you were a punk?
Rachel: yeah
Ilya: Is being a punk still a bad thing?
Rachel: no
Rachel: not at all
Rachel: but its even better to be a punk who writes in english
Ilya: [tries to open a direct connection]
Ilya: accept, you crazy
Rachel: noo
Ilya: ...
Ilya: why not?
Rachel: i look bad
Ilya: What?
Rachel: im in pajamas
Rachel: a direct image connection?
Ilya: yeah
Rachel: no
Ilya: ...
Ilya: I can't see you, silly
Rachel: then whats the pt of an image
Rachel... what would we all do without you?
Ilya: I just sent you an invitation to the group
Ilya: *invitation
...
Ilya: I spelled that right the first time...
Ilya: and then thought I hadn't
Sarah: hi
Ilya: hi
Ilya: food
Ilya: ttyl
Ilya: (not that I'm calling you food....)
Sarah: mmk
Sarah: sure
Sarah: so you don't think i would be good to eat?
Sarah: not enough meat, i suppose
Samson: so i'm gonna go eat/shower/sleep
Samson: not at the same time, of course
Ilya: I just realized one of the reasons I like "oui" so much
Ilya: you can type it with just one hand :-)
Sarah: hehe
Sarah: but it's the wrong hand
Ilya: It's actually the right hand
directionally speaking
Sam Baethge
Sam: There is an error in the date on the roster that throws it off by a
couple of years...
18000 years, to be exact :-)
Ilya: I'm gonna forget what I wanted to tell Alex again.
Ike: Meh, you'll remember in the middle of the night.
Ilya: yeah, but he won't be online.
Ilya: I saw him online and thought, "Isn't there something I wanted to tell him?"
Ilya: And I just realized what it was.
Ilya: But he's not online right now.
Ilya: AIM needs to have a "Summon" command.
Ilya: Where does innocence go, when people lose it?
Ilya: is it one of those conserved thingies, like energy?
Ilya: 'cuz that would explain a lot.
Ilya: oviosly
Ilya: with a b
Sarah: hopefully
Sarah: otherwise it makes little to know sense
Sarah: and, the k and w are just there for looks
Katie: "can't buy me loooooooooooooooooooooooove ...."
Ilya: Oh, I'll buy you, love.
Ilya: no, not really.
Samson: RAWR@maple
Samson: hey
Samson: that gave a link
Samson: it wasn't supposed to do that
Ilya: I don't have a quote or a biography.
Ilya: In short, I have no life.
Ilya: So to speak.
Ilya: So, I need a quote and a bio
Sarah: yeah, i need a quote and a favorite song
Ilya: and an infinitely long lever and an immoviable place in the universe....
Sarah: heh
Ilya: yeah, you laugh, but...
Sarah: mmhmm
Ilya: What? I'm not allowed to have dangling sentences, but you are?
Ilya: psh.
Sarah: of course you aren't
Sarah: only me
Ilya: I, even.
Ilya: :-)
Sarah: hmph
Sarah: oh man, you can't do alt codes on this laptop
Sarah: but, i'm sticking my tongue out at you
Sarah: tongue? or tounge?
Ilya: tongue, definitly.
Ilya: otherwise, it'd be too much like towel, and those are nowhere near
tongue-like enough.
Sarah: heh
Ilya: I mean, sure they get wet on occasion, and sometimes they're red even,
but... other than that, the similarities are remarkably few.
Ilya: wow... I'm a nerd.
Sarah: only slightly
Ilya: But... I don't have ideas
Ilya: 's not like I know what I want to write, and just amn't writing it
(amn't is most certainly in the category of
psuedo-words-that-really-should-be-words-but-aren't-for-the-time-being).
Samson: okay
Samson: that was a fragrant violation of english right there
Samson: bah
Samson: flagrant
Tommy says "amn't" is, in fact, a word
Ilya: So, I've made no progress at a...
Ilya: that word is "all"
Sarah: yeah
Ilya: in case you're wondering
Sarah: my mom just asked me if i want to have a family when i grow up. she made sure to clarify that she didn't mean she wondered if i wanted her to disown me.
Sarah: arlright, well, my brain shut down hours ago
Sarah: and the backspace button didn't do its job
Sarah: or perhaps it was my brain
Sarah: wow, i just looked at the screen and it looked crooked
Sarah: then i realized my head was tilted
Amanda: are you rparyent swilllin g to pay for stan
Translation: Are your parents willing to pay for Stanford?
Amanda: i think everyone has a stoyr to tell
Amanda: and they're all interesting
Deborah: my homework has cooties so i cant be in the same room with it
Xinchen: hahhaa..i love how it fills in a "desired login name" for you
Xinchen: but..i just don't think xinchenster fits me so well
Gmail, that is
Xinchen: would it be too early for..xwang08?
Ilya: why 08?
Xinchen Wang: we ARE the class of 08..
Xinchen Wang: wow, i'm setting a new record for being totally out of it.
setting a new record for being totally out of it,
as Xinchen says
Taylor: my conclusion: fox=only normal word containing letter x (ok, so i forgot sex and wax)
Deborah: at the moment: she dont know shes beautiful
The song she was listening to.
Ellen: tues/wed i have interviews with TPP o.O
Ilya: interviews?
Ellen: yuh huh
Ellen: one for being top 5
Ellen: and one for being national merit semi
Ilya: top 5
Ilya: If I were on TPP, it'd be top pi
Ilya: because the ranking system is irrational
Ilya: wanna read my first paragraph?
Ellen: excuse me while i kill a giant fly
Not sure there's a connection.
Ilya: The conversation was too gloomy
Ilya: And I don't think I was helping much.
Sarah: so you talk about bed sizes?
Ilya: Basically.
Ilya: o.k., this is bugging me
Ilya: I had a perfectly legitimate reason for this topic
Ilya: And I can't remember it
Ilya: (by perfectly legitimate, I mean mildly connected to a passing thought
I'd had. About oranges. No, not about oranges.)
Ilya: it's all part of plan
Ilya: unfortunately, I don't know what the plan is
Ilya: or who has it
Ilya: I'm sure that's part of the plan too
Ilya: hh
Ilya: (that's hehe, without the e's)
Ilya: (not to be confused with hh,
haha without the a's)
Ilya: or even hh, the
abreviation for hat hair.
Ilya: Nuhuh!
Ilya: you're kidding
Ilya: you jest.
Ilya: Thou liest.
Ilya: no, thou doesn't
Ellen: lol!!!
Ellen: *pokes* (no idea how to respond to that:-P)
Ellen: whan that aprille...
With his shoures soote
Sarah: too bad tickling can't be done over aim
Sarah: ha, they're licking each other
Sarah: silly cats
Deborah: i'll take katie
Deborah: or you could have her
On dates, or lack thereof, or whatever, presumably to Red and White
Ilya: doy ounee dt opu ta
Do you need to put a...
Ellen: i need henry to get his butt back here and give me his pick up line
Will: so i was learning french today, and came across the word 'ilya'
Ilya: pst. Happy Birthday
Jeffrey: hehe thank you
Jeffrey: sarah just can't keep a secret.
Sarah: lemma seems intent upon sitting in my lap
Sarah: even if i make it rather difficult
Sarah: sitting with one leg up, so she's wedged between me and my leg, not really any room at all
Sarah: she doesn't seem to mind, though
Sarah: she goes through phases when she has to be on somone's lap
Sarah: ...or hand
Sarah: um, this isn't going to work, lemma
Sarah: i need that hand
Lemma is a cat.
Ilya: I'm sleepy.
Sarah Spikes: really?
Sarah Spikes: i thought you were ilya.
Sarah Spikes: i must be confused
Sarah Spikes: and not sarah
Sarah: apparently, this eating concept is a bit too difficult for me
Sarah: i got confused
Sarah: and almost ate the mouse
Sarah: it was in my right hand, after al
Sarah: samson finally started talking
Sounds incriminatory
Ilya: What is the definition of closure?
Ellen: that all elements within a set fall under the operation
Ilya: so if you make a big plus sign and pour the set out, they land beneath it?
Sarah: ok, time for food
Sarah: and, see, i didn't call you food
Ilya: HEH
Ilya: I mean
Ilya: heh
Ilya: bad caps lock
Samson: yep
Samson: i mean
Samson: YEP
Sarah Spikes: i need to decide on what to eat
Sarah Spikes: i'm very indecisive, in case you hadn't noticed
Ilya: At least you made the decision to decide what to eat
Sarah Spikes: no, you see, my mom made that decision
Ilya: oh
Ilya: At least you made the decision to accept your mom's decision
Sarah: oh but i haven't. i'm still sitting here pretending i'm going to decide
Ilya: candler isn't a last name
Ilya: it's a frist name
Ilya: I object
Sarah: candler, as far as i know, is neither
Ilya: *Chandler.
Ilya: candler [should be] an occupation
Sarah: i have to make a decision
Sarah: these are getting more and more common
Sarah: it's really unfair
Sarah: uh oh, it's past midnight
Sarah: i might turn into a pumpkin
Ilya: yep
Ilya: Lemma might eat you
Sarah: ooh, scary
Sarah: yep, she looks pretty hungry
Sarah: oww
Ilya: did she try?
(no)
Ilya: .gnitseretni
Ellen: que?
Ellen: gnite serenity?
Ilya: shmir
Ilya: *smir
Ilya: omg
Ilya: I just mispelled smir
Ilya: it's foru letters logn!
Samson: smiling heavily in reality?
Based on the location of the "m", I think I would have to go with
smiling in reality, (but being too drunk not to slur "smiling").
Sarah: i've given up corresting myself, i think
Sarah: wow
Sarah: i misspelled correcting
Ilya: but of course, you wouldn't bother to correct it
Ilya: *correst
Ilya: 'cuz I'm a procrastinator
Ilya: it's like being the terminator, except not as cool
Ilya: o.k., it's not like that at all
Ilya: except it's approx. equally long
Ilya: you musht be johking
Ilya: sorry, my h key got out of control
Nishana: they asked me my first language
Nishana: and i typed in englius
Sarah: i'm sorry i'm sorry
Ilya: Sarah or sorry?
Sarah: la la la
Ilya: that's not a choice...
Sarah: yep
Ilya: fine
Sarah: i agree
Ilya: I'll call you "la la la" now
Ilya: with the spaces
Sarah: hmph
Ilya: so, really, laspacelaspacelaspace
Ilya: or maybe, laspacecubed
Sarah: a space at the end, too
Sarah: ?
Sarah: heh
Ilya: yes
Ilya: otherwise I can't cube it
Sarah: but i didn't put a space at the end
Sarah: you're misquoting me
Ilya: prove it.
Sarah: you misquoter
I guess I'm just a stubborn misquoter
Larissa: that was the first draft i spit out in 15 minutes
Ilya: did it taste bad?
Larissa: no i love eating paper
Ilya: well then why'd you spit it out?
Larissa: because
Larissa: the way you eat paper
Larissa: is that you chew it up
Larissa: and get all the juices
Larissa: and nutrients
Larissa: and then spit out the pulp
Larissa: (and the words)
Sounds inky.
Ilya: I lost my nails...
Sarah: You lost them?
Sarah: You woke up and they were gone?
Ilya: Yeah... well, sortof
Ilya: That one *points* was broken
Ilya: ...I'm sad... I want my nails back
Sarah: I have nails
Sarah: *checks*
Sarah: Yeah, still have them
Ilya: brg
Ilya: back.
Sarah: shouldn't that start with a g?
Ilya: gack?
Sarah: when you left you said brg
Sarah: i was expecting something interesting that started with a g.
Oops.
Sarah: hehe, lemma's trying to pretend not to be interested in the string matt's waving at her
Sarah: she's not doing a very good job
Sarah: wow, i'm talking a lot
Sarah: for no apparent reason
Sarah: i should probably stop
Ilya: why's that?
Sarah: because i'm not even making sense to myself
Ilya: how's that?
Ilya: makes sense to me..
Sarah: hmm
Sarah: maybe i'm just not paying enough attention
Sarah: i do that sometimes, you know
Ilya: do I?
Sarah: i dunno, you tell me.
Sarah: but, i've told you, so you ought to.
Sarah: unless you're not paying attention to me, which would make two of us.
Ilya: I know that you sometimes don't pay attention to yourself?
Ilya: just because you told me?
Ilya: I do know you're a liar... so why should I believe you?
Sarah: hmph. fine.
Sarah: don't believe me, then.
Ilya: Okay.
Samson: how come you're still up?
Ilya: am not.
Ilya: *signs off AIM*
Ilya: :-)
Samson: well
Samson: your body is still up
Samson: er
Samson: unless you're laying down
Samson: or something
Samson: but that's cheating!
Auto-response from Ellen: dropping eggs off my balcony :-P
Ilya: no!
Ilya: come back
Ilya: don't do it
Ilya: they want to live, Ellen, live!
Auto-response from Sarah: food?
Ilya: no
Ilya: not food
Ilya: mud.
Ilya: (just kidding)
Sarah: hmm
Sarah: mud?
Sarah: sounds yummy
Ilya: ick.
Sarah: yes, well, not really
...
Sarah: my parents are talking about me
Sarah: wonder what they're saying
Ilya: that you're one of those mud-eaters
Ilya: they just found out, you see
Ilya: they aren't sure what to do about it.
Sarah: ah, i see
Ilya: yes.
Ilya: aren't you glad you have psychic friends to explain these things to you?
Ilya: (that was "psychic," not psychotic)
Sarah: mmhmm
Sarah: believeable
Sarah: ooh, we get half the day off tomorrow
Sarah: and next wednesday
Sarah: which is a really odd day to get off, oh well
Ilya: ...December 8th is even
Ilya: and it's in honor of my birthday
Ilya: *sighs*, I've been working with LaTeX and Java too much lately
Ilya: I keep trying to compile my HTML documents
Sarah: i should start messing with java again
Ilya: You mess with it, it'll mess with you.
Sarah: true
Michelle: Thanksgiving is part of Christmas!
So she said after I complained that the Christmas season starts more than a
month before Christmas. She meant it though.
Henry: if you Ellen were a boy, you know what your name would be?
Henry: e^x
Henry: it's the opposite of ln(x)
Henry: another flash of brilliance by henry tsai
Sarah: people are here.
Sarah: robin
Sarah: also my grandfather, which is totally unrelated.
Sarah: although he is related. to me.
Sarah: robin isn't.
...mhm
Sarah: so, i told you we had extra cats, right?
extra... cats